Mmm, hmmm, yes ma'am

Back in the USA!

"Oh, how you build me up, buttercup, and I don't want to let you down..."
Welcome to my reality. How I remembered that GF vegan pizza from
Cosmic Pizza, and oh, how it just weren't the same! What a great
wake-up to reality of the world instead of the one in my head. Now,
being in Texas, it's another kind of wake up. Talking about trusting
the universe and just being here now are not common topics of
conversation, so I haven't been saying much lately. Even Grandmother
noticed, but there are other reasons I've been keeping my mouth shut
around her. Can't seem to do anything right :)

Texas. Well, it's hot and muggy, they think vegetables come out of a
can, and there is nothing to do, especially not when the towns are 30
miles apart and everything's closed anyway. But, I'm not bored. I'm
hanging out with my family which is turning out to be quite
interesting, to experience the dynamics and get to know people better
and have some clashes of my own. Aren't these travels always a
learning experience? And, Bree and I are throwing out ideas for what
to do on our roadtrip back - visit Tucson, the Grand Tetons and
Glacier National Park, and visit some intentional communities on our
way back. In fact, we have so many ideas of what to do I joked we'll
be zig-zagging our way back instead of going in a straight line. Suits
me fine.

Homey homey homey home!

The closer I get to hopping on a plane and going home, the more
excited I become and the more I'm going to have to distract myself.
This is so exciting! Jump up and down exciting! Even though I'm
looking around me at all the beautiful people and places I haven't
visited, I am so ready and happy to be coming home. Yesterday was an
extraordinary experience - I felt so grateful to everyone, my
circumstances, my friends and family...A sort of giddy internal
grinning that sometimes came out in tears. I'm so happy because I
don't expect anything from myself, I don't expect myself to be happy.
How great is that?

I'm embarking upon the great journey home today. To Brissie,
Melbourne, then HOME!!!

Still don't know...and that's ok :)

Well, I don't know where else to write this, so here it is.

I'm a comin' home, but I'm not there yet. I'm spending my last days in
Oz in Noosa Heads, the Sunshine Coast resort town that's kinda like
Rehobath Beach in Maryland, Malibu in Cali, Seaside in Oregon. It's
summer weather here during the day - tons of people in singlets and
shorts, and people swimming! I watched two young boys playing in the
waves last night, just lolling about in the water while I sat and held
off the shivers in the wind. Australians are a hardy breed.

I thought I would do some processing of my time at Chenrezig while I
was here, and maybe that's happened, but for the most part, I eat,
think about eating, read and watch waves on the beach. It's pretty
good. Lately the book is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and I
wonder if JK Rowling put a witching spell on it because I can't put it
down! It is sooooo good! I'm so glad I'm at a point I can laugh out
loud at burping slugs and misbehaving leprechauns. Last night people
asked me what I was reading to get such a response.

I guess the one thing I have done is sign up for Facebook and learn
that possibly everyone I've ever met is on there. Wow! Imagine how
many people I'll know once I get a photo posted to it. It's like
having community available all the time. Wow.

Pretty much as soon as I get home, I'm leaving again for Texas, to
meet Bree and see some of those things called relations, and to road
trip home through the SW and I guess the North central part. I'm
aching to see mountains and I hear the Grand Tetons are spectacular.
One of the vollies at CI is in love with the U.S., and the way she
talked about being there helped me to see what an amazing country I
live in and how lucky I am to be live there. I'm quite excited to be
coming home, I can't think too much about it or I'll implode. One
moment at a time...

So, Aug 4 home, Aug 8 Texas, after that, who knows?

People ask me if I know what I'll be doing when I return to the states
and to be honest, I still don't know. No great career path has
blossomed in a dream, and I was told to let go of having one. That's
pk by me! The big difference is that now I'm ok with not knowing. I
know where I am right now, and maybe I know my next step and that's
all I need to know. I've spent too much time beating myself up about
not knowing.