from a lovely package from Pennsylvania, the knittin' bug has
me...again. What can I say, it's good. It's SO good!
What am I knitting right now? Headbands. With inspiration from a
former vollie as well as encouragement from current vollies, headbands
are the thing. Talk about simple, and fast(er) to knit. I'm enjoying
watching the colorways wave before my eyes and allowing my creativity
to run wild on what feels like a blank slate. It's good to be creative
again. And...tonight is the first arts and craft night at Chenrezig!
There are so many creative vollies here at the moment, I figured I'd
take advantage of all that creative energy and start something - share
it around, create, express.
The days here are distinctly winterlike - crisp mornings and evenings,
days that darken by 5:30, and an urge within myself to be in bed by 8
pm. Fortunately, the actual days warm up reasonably well and in
between the occasional thunderstorm, it's sunny! I have to think about
sunburn when I sit outside at lunch time.
Things are balancing out for me here - I feel like I'm finding my
center more and more easily, and am better able to work from that, to
be in touch with my heart rather than my mind. People still ask me if
it's difficult to eat as healthily as I do, and I ask myself the same
thing every time I'm offered chocolate or a cake or we have crepe
night at the Family Center. More and more I'm realizing it's not the
food I want, it's the feeling I associate with having the food.
Chocolate means friends and family, togetherness, community. It's like
trying to find good Mexican food in France - more of a good idea than
good food. In fact, food is just food. Community is community, love is
love, friends are friends. None of these can replace the other. I ask
myself what it is I'm lacking every time I overeat. I've gotten to the
point of being aware I'm overeating while I'm doing it, not hating
myself for it, but just feeling compassion for myself and trying to
give myself the space and permission to look for what's really behind
it. I know I won't stop until I'm ready to face whatever this is -
probably fear of rejection - but I've stopped chastising myself for
it. How about that for compassion!
